To be or not to be – should I stay or should I go
Today is one of those questioning days. The question is always lingering in the back of my mind, but sometimes it comes to the center of my worries: should I call this whole acting thing off?
It happens when I read things like this: http://thestrugglingactress.blogspot.com/2012/10/dear-struggling-actress.html
There was a time when the boy would not blink, he would just say he was going to be an actor when he grows up. Now he’s saying he’ll do all this acting thing for now, but he really wants to be an astronaut. (Thinking of him flying tiny airplanes scare the heck out of me, and the perspective of him ever leaving Earth in some space shuttle is just beyond scary. And not many things scare me in this life. I trust my own strength and resilience to face anything I come accross, but having my son in some tiny airplane is beyond my control. This is actually scarier than to think he might have no income as an actor, or might be exposed to depression and drugs.)
Sure we can’t just drop everything overnight – not if we might want to be back the day after. He has agent, manager, classes. There’s an audition scheduled, there are new headshots paid for, there’s that awesome film going to festivals. And it’s not like he’s showing any sign of getting tired of it – that’s just me thinking “what are we doing all this for? what am I driving like gas was cheap? why don’t I have time to myself?”
But I know why – *sighs*. It’s because nothing, nothing we’ve ever done had him hooked so completely and for so long. And even if he says he wants to be an astronaut, he will still (by his own accord) turn off a videogame on a Saturday to go to a class or an audition. One day, when I was putting him to bed, he told me: “do you know what’s my favorite day of the week? Sunday. Do you know why? Because I go to my acting class.”